I heard an item on the radio yesterday evening about a disastrous collapse in the British flag making industry. Now those of you with a passion for football - and at this point I must stand up and be counted as a football hater - will be aware that the England team has not made it into the final stages of some sort of tournament that's happening at the moment. As a consequence the flag makers have not sold a plethora of pennants bearing the Cross of St George. (Incidentally, the first time that the world around me suddenly erupted with St George's Cross flags was a couple of years ago, when Alcohol, Ganja the Dwarf and I were off on a quest together. Being all of us unversed in the ways of Football, we spent several days travelling discretely and by water, under the impression that the British National Party had somehow taken control of the country - I'll no doubt tell more about this in the fullness of time.)
Now - if I can just go of at an apparent tangent for a moment - I come from a fairly socialistic background and to say that we have no love in my family for Margaret Thatcher is about as much of an understatement as describing the surface of the sun as being 'a bit warm'. My father's dying words were actually 'Bastard...Thatcher', and the rest of us have never had to come near death to attest to that sentiment. My younger brother, Ganja the Dwarf (hereinafter known as 'G the D') has recently acquired a flagpole (can you see where this is going yet?) and expressed to me one day his intention of buying a red flag to fly when the news of Lady T's demise is announced. As one who can't wait for that happy day, I wanted to be ready and so soon located a flag manufacturer on the net that will happily provide you with any kind of flag - including a red one - for around about Eight quid, including postage. So I'm now the proud owner of a red flag - ready to fly it the moment the glad tidings are announced.
I'm pretty certain that there are a whole bunch of you out there that share these feelings (and if you have been following these pages but don't share them I guess this is probably the parting of the ways for us, in which case - Goodbye) so what I propose is this: start the Red Flag campaign now. I won't advertise the web site here but a quick search on 'Flag Sales UK' should do the trick. Be prepared for the day and tell all your friends and fellow sympathisers about the wheeze. Lets face it, when it happens we are going to be up to our arses in non-stop TV, Radio and Newspaper coverage for days on end, most of which will be telling us what a great leader she was and how much she did for this country. Ha! My red flag will be flying within seconds of the news. I shall also be breaking the habit of a lifetime and phoning the local radio station for a request. You might like to do the same. My choice is 'Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead'. All right - yes - I know I expressed a great dislike of 'The Wizard of Oz in an earlier posting (Wonderful round, black, shiny things), but in this case I'm willing to make an exception. Go on - do it! You know it makes sense.